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What a year and a half it's been. And that's putting it mildly.

This diary took a hiatus because, to a large extent, I also was taking a hiatus. Actually, that's not completely accurate. It's probably more accurate to say that, in many ways, I was dealing with my life falling apart and am just now getting around to trying to figure out how some of the pieces go back in place.

Of course, that misses the fact that, ultimately, when your life falls apart, the pieces don't go back in place. The places that those pieces went aren't there any more. This is akin to the saying, "You can never step in the same river twice.".

So, to cover some of the... Well, it would be incorrect to call them high points because there are definitely a mix of high and low points. Let's just call them extrema (maxima and minima) and leave it at that. [For those of you who might be worried - I'm still married, so that's not a low point. Don't sweat it.]

• I lost the job that I had with the company that shall remain nameless. They ran out of money and pretty much told me on a Friday that they wouldn't be paying me starting Monday. Nice touch, right?
• I had to deal with all of the aftermath of my mom's death, including the funeral, executing her will, selling the house and disposing (in one fashion or another) with her posessions.
• My son, Nathaniel Michael, was born on 11/19/2002. [See here for pictures, etc.]
• My wife, Anna, went back to work part-time and is about to go back to work full-time. [The flip side of this is that I've become a semi-full-time dad and am about to drop the "semi-" from that designation.]
• My job search is going nowhere, fast, and I'm definitely in the throes of fearing that systems development may have turned into a dead-end career. Go fig!
• I've had a truly massive Crazy Moment™ and am trying to figure out if there's any way I can make it work.
• Anna and I seem to be on the edge of snapping at each other at any time and neither of us can quite figure out how to make it stop (although, of course, we're both blaming the other for being the responsible party).
• I started taking some martial arts classes and, partly as a result, have lost about 20 pounds so far. [This puts me down to a svelte 230 pounds. I've still got some more to lose but it's a major improvement. Heck, I can comfortably fit into clothes that I haven't even dared to try on for a few years.]

I'm sure there's more than that, but those are the ones that jump out at me at the moment. I'm planning on trying to write about some of them soon(-ish). Of course, given the results from the last time I made that plan, I'm not going to beat myself up if (when) I fail to follow through, but it's a start.

Oh, and in case anyone's wondering about what's driven me to start this back up... It's been something that's been building for a while, where I've been thinking about it. But, what finally pushed me over the edge was that I just got back from seeing a movie, Lost in Translation. It's a great movie and I definitely recommend seeing it. While I won't say that I identify with either of the main characters, there's enough of an echo there that it resonated. [Amusingly, I debated long and hard with myself about whether or not to see the movie. I really wanted to, but was afraid that I would identify too strongly with the movie.] Suffice it to say that I'm very much sitting here, not quite sure where I belong or what I'm supposed to be and it's not the most fun set of feelings.

Author: ben@tmk.com

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