I haven't spoken to my best friend in over a year. On the face of it, that's an extraordinarily strange statement. After all, if he's my best friend, why haven't I been talking to him daily or at least weekly. Well, my friend, who I'll call Peter (because that's actually his name), can sometimes be a bit of an ass. Which isn't to say that I can't do likewise, but we can both go to extremes.
More than a year ago, Peter, my wife and I were hanging out and went out to a restaurant. Pater then did something (details unimportant) that managed to completely annoy both Anna and myself. We thought that what he did was uncalled for and just plain rude. So, being the stubborn person that I am, after he went home, I expected him to apologize for it.
<tangent> Many years ago (early 1990's), Peter and I both wanted to go to Chicago for vacation, so we went together. I had to do a one-day work trip out there and we figured we'd blow off the rest of the week hanging out in the land of interesting architecture and steak. I wanted to go to see the Battletech Center and he wanted to see some baseball games. Plus, we both wanted to go to the Taste of Chicago and Second City. Aside from the stuff that we both wanted to do, we figured that he might be interested in the Battletech and this would give him an opportunity to show me that baseball is worth watching. [I still think it isn't, but that's not even another story.]
During the week that we were there, we managed to competely irritate each other. We managed to completely get on each other's nerves such that the last day there we spent almost completely apart and then still managed to be pissed off when we got back to the car. After this trip (which still had its fun moments), we didn't talk to each other for about 6 months. After that much time had passed, I'd finally come to realize that I might have been overly sensitive about stuff and figured it was time for me to try and reconnect.
So I called him, we laughed about it and started being friends again. Now, even as friends, we've never been the "call each other 3 times a day" sort, but we do tend to stay in touch. </tangent>
So, given that I wasn't alone in my feeling that he'd been wrong this time, I figured it was his turn to be the adult and recognize that he'd done wrong. I was big enough to realize I'd been wrong before, it was his turn now. It hasn't worked out that way.
And there's a true sadness here for me, because this has definitely been a year (more than a year really) where I could've used my best friend around. A lot's happened.
It's actually that last item that is the cause of me thinking of this. It's been a few days over a year since we've been moved. That means that the message in the phone company that tells you about our new number is about to expire. So... Even if Peter decides he wants to apologize, he's not going to be able to get in touch.
Last night I called him, amazed that I remembered the number (since, being me, I don't really have it written down anywhere). Got the answering machine and left what will probably be seen (heard?) as a bizarre message indicating that I'm still waiting for an apology but he should have my new phone number. Who knows, maybe he'll even call and I'll be able to put in another tick in the positive karma column.
Author: ben@tmk.com