X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2774 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!bobsbox.rent.com!s4mjs!plts!sdl!news.mentorg.com!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wupost!decwrl!decwrl!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Authority on Babies Message-ID: From: millerm@fever.sps.mot.com (Mikemoe) Date: 7 Apr 93 07:25:09 GMT Keywords: chuckle, computers Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 67 [Posted to misc.kids recently. Author unknown] posted by Jeremy Henderson *********************** BABY(1) USER COMMANDS BABY(1) NAME BABY - create new process from two parent processes SYNOPSIS BABY [ -sex ] [ -name ] DESCRIPTION BABY is initiated when one parent process polls another server process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in the System V implementation. BABY runs at a low priority for approximately 40 weeks then terminates with heavy system load. Most systems require constant monitoring when BABY reaches its final stages of execution. Older implementations of BABY required that the initiating process not be present at the time of completion. In these versions the initiating process is awakened and notified of the results upon completion. Modern versions allow both parent processes to be active during the final stages of BABY. OPTIONS -sex option indicating type of process created. -name process identification to be attached to the new process. RESULT Successful execution of the BABY(1) results in new process being created and named. Parent processes then typically broadcast messages to all other processes informing them of their new status in the system. BUGS The SLEEP command may not work on either parent processes for some time afterward, as new BABY processes constantly send interrupts which must be handled by one or more parent. BABY processes upon being created may frequently dump in /tmp requiring /tmp to be cleaned out frequently by one of the parent processes. SEE ALSO sleep(1) dump(8) cry(3) -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. This newsgroup is sponsored by ClariNet Communications Corp. The "executive moderator" is Brad Templeton.